Well, this guy actually did.
Known only as “Zheng,” this 17 year-old Chinese high school student was scanning the Internet looking for ways to make quick cash to buy an iPad 2. He claims a “broker” (which is apparently a euphemism for “black market organ hustler“) contacted him, offering to help him sell his kidney for the equivalent of $3,100 U.S.
After the surgery, Zheng came home with his prized iPad 2 and a new laptop. His mom wondered where he’d gotten the money to buy them and noticed he had a “deep red scar on his body, which was caused by the surgery.” I’m thinking we have a contestant for the Mother of the Year award. Anyway, she called the police soon after, but hasn’t been able to find the broker responsible.
It turns out, Zheng is realizing it might not have been the best trade-off. He’s been suffering post-surgery complications. And, get this, the hospital that performed the surgery isn’t even qualified to do organ transplants. Oh, Zheng.
This can’t help but remind me of the first episode of this season’s South Park. Long story short, one of the characters doesn’t read the iTunes update license agreement and accidentally agrees to becoming a part of Apple’s new product, the Human CentiPad, which gives Apple permission to “sew his mouth to the butthole of another Apple user.” Cartman desperately wants an iPad and resorts to — to put it nicely — throwing his mom under the bus to get it. But the Human CentiPad makes Kyle’s life miserable, so Cartman wants that even more.
If you haven’t seen the Human Centipede, I don’t recommend it — “Gross” is an understatement. But let’s just say this mad scientist guy has some fetish for connecting three living beings together via the GI tract. The creepier thing to me is wondering what sick werido even thinks of this stuff!
In any case, after watching the Human CentiPad South Park episode, I now either scan through license agreements or do a search for the words “mouth,” “sew,” and “butthole.” Maybe a little ridiculous, but you can never be too careful. Especially after news that people are willing to buy and sell kidneys to get these things too.